Expressing Gratitude

Background

Our study showed that gratitude boosts happiness for a variety of reasons - which is why Prof. Sonja Lyubomirsky calls it a "meta strategy". This exercise involves showing gratitude to a person who has had a positive influence in your life.

Objective

To help you assess the impact of expressing gratitude on your happiness levels.

Please provide an email address to which your entries can be emailed.

Your gratitude recipient

The first step involves thinking of someone who had a positive influence on your life. This person could be someone from your past (e.g., teacher, mentor) or present (e.g., friend, spouse). It is ideal to think of someone who is still alive. If you prefer to write your letter to someone who has passed on, that is fine too, but then, you will need to read the letter to someone who knew this person. For example, if you write your letter to your late uncle, you could read it to your uncle’s sister, wife, son, etc.

In the space below, type out the name of the recipient of your letter:

Writing your letter

Think of all the reasons why this person had a positive influence in your life and then type out your thoughts in the space below in the form of a letter. Make this a relatively longish letter, but not too long. You should aim to write three or four paragraphs.

Note: It is best to avoid saying anything that has a chance of being construed as negative. So, avoid statements like “Even though you aren’t a great-looking person, you never let that get you down.” Scan your letter for things that could be interpreted negatively. If you find any instances, remove or revise them. If in doubt about something you want to say, check with someone familiar with the letter’s recipient first before going to the next step.

Reading/sending your letter

If the person to whom you wrote the letter is still alive, read your letter out loud to him or her. You could do this either face-to-face (preferred) or over the telephone (or other means—like Skype). When you complete this exercise your letter will be e-mailed to you.

If the recipient has passed on, or is not in a position to receive your letter (e.g., he or she is in critical condition in the hospital), read or e-mail the letter to the recipient you identified earlier—someone who knows the person you wish to thank. Again, it is best to read the letter face-to-face or over the telephone, rather than emailing it.

Reflecting on your experience

Reflect on your experience with this exercise, after you have conveyed your letter to the recipient and, ideally, after you have had a chance to reflect on how they reacted and that, in turn, made you feel. So, for example, if you emailed your letter and haven’t yet heard back from the recipient, you may wish to wait for a few days. 

The last step involves reflecting on how you felt at various stages in this exercise:

1. When writing the letter,
2. When conveying it to the recipient,
3. When waiting for the response, and finally,
4. After receiving the response

When you click on Complete the Exercise, we will e-mail your letter to you.